As an incest survivor I had started a movement called The Lamplighters, a movement that currently has 41 chapters in six countries. I was also the author of the Repair series: Repair Your Life, Repair For Kids and Repair For Toddlers, all a program for recovery from childhood sexual abuse.
My father had raped me when I was 13, sleeping with a rosary under my pillow. When my mother found out about my father’s night time raids she blamed me and had my father beat me as punishment for what he was doing. Her motto about my father had been, “Even when he’s wrong, he’s right.” I ran away from home when I was 18 after a beating that almost killed me. For the next 2.5 decades I went from one abuser to another until I found myself married to my third abuser, a man so abusive that the counselor I was going to said I would never survive him. That counselor got me into recovery, a process that took five years. During my recovery I found out that my second husband had sexually abused my two oldest daughters. When confronted on his deathbed about it, he told me, “Sure I did it. It was their fault.” They were four and five years old. My youngest daughter had been raped at gunpoint when she was seventeen while she worked at a fast food place. That made four out of four, proving that children of an untreated incest victim stand a five times greater chance of being molested themselves.
During my recovery years I did everything that I later used in writing the Repair series. Once I was finished my motto was, “If I’d known life was going to turn out this good I would have started it sooner”.
After watching the stats over the years regarding child sexual abuse and seeing what everyone was doing I was overwhelmed by the idea that the people who were working to make a difference were too numerous to count. And while they were all making a difference in their little corner of the world, I kept thinking we needed more. I had spoken with colleagues about the need for something we could be a part of that was bigger than we were, something that could reach its hand out and bring everyone on board the same boat, rowing together.
I originally heard about the Let Go, Let Peace Come In foundation from another survivor when he recommended me to them as a board member. I gave it much thought and decided I was too busy. I got a phone call from the same friend. He tilted the scale a bit towards the foundation but, I was still dubious about what I could even contribute. Then I received a phone call from Peter Pelullo, the Founder. I was very impressed with Peter’s heartfelt commitment to this foundation. We shared backgrounds and where we were in our life. The more Peter spoke the more I could feel a tug. I’m not sure if he was aware of me not wanting to come on board but he was so convincing that I found myself feeling as if I’d never entertained any thoughts of not joining. I knew that what the world needed was someone who was going to bring something different to this war on childhood sexual abuse. Thousands of websites for non-profit organizations, blogs, and personal websites seemed to not make a dent in what they were trying to achieve as I could see the numbers not going down. But Pete seemed to have his finger on a different pulse. He wants to help, not with words, but with action. I had never heard anyone so devoted, so dedicated, so passionate about what he thinks the world needs. It needs to let go and let peace come in with dedicated therapists that he will bring to the foundation. I was on board!